Mars Attacks, Jones Doesn’t Notice - Liberal Resistance

Mars Attacks, Jones Doesn’t Notice

Okay, that headline’s not strictly true. But you did notice, I’m sure, that Alex Jones—he of InfoWars, conspiracy theories, paranoid rants, and Sandy Hook “Truthers”— predicted that Liberals and Democrats were going to start a Civil War on July 4, 2018.

It didn’t happen. Just in case you had any doubts.

But, you can rest assured, his mentally challenged followers won’t mind. They’ll figure us nasty Leftists called off the coup because brave patriots like themselves were warned in time by Paul Revere Jones and, being snowflakes, us liberals melted in terror.

Of course, it is very good business for him. Stirs up the Deplorables and gets them all eager to shoot libtards…and buy lots more of Jones’ patent medicines and dietary supplements. On which, it turns out, he makes millions (See Food Of The Clods).

Which is why he will again, very soon, predict civil strife. In a few months, maybe only a few weeks, he’ll prophesize another dread threat to the Republic by Liberal crypto-commies. It is all advertising.

Oh, and by the way, he never has to worry about Crying Wolf. His followers will always see the wolf, whether it is there or not, and then afterwards give him credit for scaring it away.

But there’s the thing? Eventually, eventually, something really dramatic will actually happen. Who can say? Maybe Martians really will invade. Maybe something else. Maybe a genuinely fascist take-over. Maybe a natural disaster. Maybe the ice caps will melt.

And Alex Jones and his followers won’t even notice. They’ll be running about looking for those Civil War Re-enactors under every bed. While the real threat, the deadly danger…

Will be right there in front of them.

And they won’t even notice…not even when laser cannons (or whatever) blast them into ash and cinders, and their wives and children are dragged away to slavery by ICE-beasts…

To Make Mars Great Again…