So, the other day, we were sitting around morbidly thinking about suicide. Not that we’re planning on doing it, you understand. We were just sort of idly reflecting on the most effective ways of getting the job done, should we ever…you know…get tempted.
At first we considered overdosing on chocolate donuts, an idea that had a lot of charm, but seemed like it might take an awfully long time to get finished. Then we meditated on the appeal of skydiving over Mt. Mayon, the currently active volcano, without a ‘chute. But, as colorful as that seems, there’d be quite a bit of screaming toward the end, and loud noises get on our nerves.
But, then, we found the perfect method…
A friend of ours sent us the link to an article in RawStory by Dave Edwards, GOP Senate candidate flips out over ‘women’s rights’: ‘I want to come home to a cooked dinner every night.’ It seems that Courtland Sykes, who is a GOP candidate for the Senate from the Great State of Missouri, apparently posted on Facebook a statement to the effect that he detests modern Feminism, and that Feminists “push an agenda that they “made up to suit their own nasty snake-filled heads.”
That was among the least offensive things he said about modern women.
So, here’s the plan, should we ever really and truly want to do ourselves in, we’ll just take this article and show it to the wise and gentle women in our lives and tell them they ought to take heed of Mr. Sykes’ views and that we were planning on voting for him.
We figure we’d be eviscerated before you could say “Sexist Pig.”
Beats volcanoes any day of the week…