Dear Ann, We're Reptiloid Aliens - Liberal Resistance

Dear Ann, We’re Reptiloid Aliens

So we read the other day that Ann Coulter had some kinda interesting words for the Democrats entering Congress this January. They are, she said, united only in their hatred of white men. Also, she continued, they are themselves “…Muslims and the Jews and the various exotic sexual groups and the black church ladies with the college queers.”

Whoa.

That’s a pretty mixed bag. We mean, really, you just can’t get much more diverse than that. Though, come to think of it, she did leave out Native Americans and Pacific Islanders, so, you know…

Still, we think we ought to help Ms. Coulter out. She needs a few more “exotic” groups among her Democrats. So, bravely, and with the best of intentions, we’re going to pitch in and help. We’re not members of Congress, of course, but many of us here are Democrats, so we’ll pretend from now on that we’re something unusual…something odd…something that Trumpsters hate.

Say…Reptilian Aliens from the Alpha Draconis star system. You know …the ones that show up in David Icke‘s conspiracy theories. We arrived in UFOs some centuries ago and now live underground in secret bases in the desert where we plot the demise of humanity. And, and we’re disguised as people, but if you look closely enough, you’ll see that we have enlarged red eyes and occasional scales and tails. But, don’t worry, we love Republicans. Why, we had two for breakfast just this morning. They’re delicious.

So, there you have it. That ought to round out Ms. Coulter’s rogue’s gallery quite nicely.

No need to thank us. That’s just the kind of generous lizards we are.