American Liar - Liberal Resistance

American Liar

Sung to the tune of American Pie

(with apologies to Don McLean)

 

A long long time ago

I can still remember how

That music used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those people dance

And maybe they’d be happy for a while

 

But February made me quiver

With ever paper I’d deliver

Good news on the doorstep

I couldn’t take one more step

 

I laughed so hard that I cried

When I read about his bruised pride

Something touched me deep inside

The day the Cohen testified

 

So

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin’ this’ll be the day that their party will die

This’ll be the day it’ll die

 

Did you write the book of lies?

And do you have faith in Putin’s demise?

If the Turtle tells you so?

Do you believe in drop and roll?

Can Cohen save his mortal soul?

And can you teach me how to talk real slow?

 

Well, I know some are in love with him

‘Cause I saw all the toothless standing in the gym

They still watch that Faux News

Man, I hate that fake news

 

It was a damn red commies plot

With an orange bafoon that lies a lot

But I knew he was out of luck

The day the Cohen testified

I started singin’

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin’ this’ll be the day their party will die

This’ll be the day it’ll die

 

Now, for two years we’ve been on our own

His ass grew fatter talking to Roger Stone

But, that’s not how it used to be

 

When the jester sang for the wannabe king

With a tweet he borrowed from A-O-C

And it was a voice that came from you and me

 

Oh and while the clown was looking down

Nancy Pelosi stole his gold plated crown

The hearing was adjourned

No verdict was returned

 

All while Melania read a book on yachts

The quartet practiced in the park

And we sang dirges in the dark

The day the Cohen Testified

We were singin’

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

And singin’ this’ll be the day their party will die

This’ll be the day that it’ll die

 

Helter skelter in a summer swelter

Cohen flew off with free board & shelter

Lower approval ratings and falling fast

 

It landed foul on the grass

The players went for a forward pass

With Mueller on the sidelines in a mask

 

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume

While Kim Jogn Un played a marching tune

We all got up to dance

Oh, but we never got the chance

 

‘Cause the new players decided to take the field

The marching band actually began to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the commie plot died?

We started singin’

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my Vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

And singin’ this’ll be the day their party will die

This’ll be the day that it’ll die

 

Oh, and there we were all in one place

A generation lost in cyberspace

With plenty of time left to start again

 

So come on Mueller be nimble, Mueller be quick

Crimson Congress sat on a candlestick

‘Cause a border wall is the devil’s only friend

 

Oh and as I watched him on the stage

My hands were clenched in fists of rage

This devil was born in Hell

We need to break that Satan’s spell

 

And as the flames climbed high into the night

To light the sacrificial rite

I saw Bernie laughing with delight

The day the commie’s plot died

He was singin’

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin’ this’ll be the day that their party will die

This’ll be the day that it’ll die

 

I met a girl who sang the blues

And I asked her for some happy news

But she just smiled and turned away

 

I went down to the sacred store

Where I’d heard the music years before

But the man there said the music wouldn’t play

 

And in the streets the children screamed

The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed

But not a word was spoken

The church bells all were broken

 

And the three men I admire the least

The Father, Son, and the beast

They caught the last flight for the Middle East

The day Cohen Testified

And they were singing

 

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Took my vodka to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin’ this’ll be the day their party will die

This’ll be the day that it’ll die

 

They were singing

Bye, bye Mr. American Liar

Drank my vodka at the levee even though the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin’ this’ll be the day that their party dies…

 

— Chris Madsen

 

 

 

***

Chris Madsen is a writer and activist based in the great state of Hawaii. He frequently writes from the unique perspective of his Pacific home. His opinions are his own.

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